A little bit of Europe at Hard Rock Cafe August 13, 2008

Paolo Nutini. Who?? P A O L O N U T I N I. Hmmm…

A little less than two years ago at my place: a friend connected his iPod to my stereo and started playing Paolo Nutini’s album “These Streets“. I was immediately impressed by this young Scottish man’s expressive and unique voice. I downloaded the CD and it became one of those albums that you never get sick of, no matter how many times you listen to it.

Even in Switzerland, at least before I came to San Diego, Nutini wasn’t too well known, though a couple of his singles were regularly being played on the radio (Last Request, Rewind, New Shoes).

Then, thanks to Facebook’s iLike, I received a notification that he would be playing at Hard Rock Cafe’s 10th Anniversary. I had to go!

I was kind of surprised that Hard Rock Cafe would have a relatively unknown artist perform on their 10th Anniversary, but of course I was thrilled about their choice!

And I didn’t leave disappointed: it was a great concert!

When we saw one of the band members drinking wine on stage in the middle of a song, my American friend noticed: That’s how you tell they’re European!

Well, it was nice to see a little bit of European flair at a very American Hard Rock Cafe.

Lies of omission, lies of commission… and then there’s the Truth July 31, 2008

In one of my previous posts I mentioned a Workplace Ethics Class where lies of omission and commission were discussed and I was reminded of it this morning when I caught myself in a lie. I am going to leave out the details (the internet can be dangerous!), but I’m assuring you that no one was harmed!

Whenever we start learning new things, a language, a game, we always get the “basic rules” taught first. With no precognition, “exceptions” could be overwhelming. But whenever we get more familiar with the basics, comfortable enough to apply them, we start differentiating and opening our mind to exceptions.

As kids, we start acquiring fundamental rules of moral conduct and one of the first lessons is: “Do not lie”. Especially not to mommy and daddy.

But as we grow older, and sometimes even as children, we instinctively feel overpowered by discretion and tactfulness and withhold certain judgments or information. Should I tell her that that dress looks awful on her? Or should I go with a more diplomatic “Sure, you look great!” Can I fake that much enthusiasm? Maybe tone it down a little? Because deep down, we feel it’s not completely right. Even with something trivial, you never know what the consequences of your lies could be. Maybe she’ll wear that dress to her blind date… What will he think?!

I can usually live with lies that won’t harm anyone without feeling too guilty (as in having sleepless nights), for example the “cover your ass”-lies that won’t compromise anyone else (blaming it on “higher forces”, anything that’s out of your control). You might still feel bad because you didn’t live up to someone’s (or your own) expectations, but you don’t feel like you destroyed a cosmic balance.

What about when things get more serious? What if you work in the marketing department and your boss wants you to deliberately deceive your customers? What if you see your friend’s boyfriend walk hand in hand with another girl? What if you cheated on your partner? Would you tell them?

I’ve heard both perspectives. Guys that “pride” themselves because, after all, they confessed they had cheated. Was it liberating? A weight off their shoulders? Yes, because they obviously couldn’t live with it any longer, either because they were too afraid she was going to find out some other way, or maybe even for the “right” reasons. Was she devastated? Certainly. One last question: Were selfish reasons a motive for telling the truth? Well, I must say I might come to that conclusion after talking to guys that will show such pride when stating that they had the “guts” to come clean.

By the way, I’m not excluding women from cheating at all, but no woman has ever told me she cheated on her boyfriend before… they might like to keep that information more private, who knows.

I recently actually talked to a friend who openly admitted she would never want her boyfriend to admit he cheated on her. She’d rather not know anything about it, than having to deal with that kind of pain. Yes, I was shocked to hear her say that.

But do we really always want to know the painful truth? Aren’t we thankful, at times, that people “protect” us from that?

Is there a difference between a husband having a one-night-stand after 15 years of marriage and a girl cheating for weeks on a guy that she had been dating for a year?

I’d say if experience and maturity teach us anything, it’s not to see the world in black and white.

I think it is equally hard to judge and decide if we should hurt someone and how much pain we are willing to deal with.

The honesty of other people, even if hurtful, can (and mostly will) make us learn and grow.

Of course, we should strive to prevent actions that will make us feel guilty. We all know that’s not always possible. But what else would we have a conscience for?

The other face of Facebook July 21, 2008

You know what facebook is, right? You also have a profile on there? Check it regularly? Well, you’re no different than millions of other facebook-addicts. Living in a world where in order to be influential you need to be popular and have “the right connections”, social networking sites spring up like mushrooms.

I have always been somewhat reluctant to join these sites and indirectly support the widespread mentality of “I’d better keep in touch with him… I might need his help one day”, where an individual becomes a means to an end.

And I’ve always been concerned about sacrificing my privacy… even with very elaborate privacy settings, personal information will come through that will give people a chance to gossip and God knows what else. Sure, your friends list will start off including a selected group of best friends who know all about you anyway. But after a while your random acquaintances will outnumber by far your more or less “intimate” friends and the troubles with restricted profiles start.

I’m certainly thankful for Facebook, being an avid user myself, and it definitely makes it a lot easier to satisfy our curiosity about the well-being of people we haven’t talked to in a while. Yes, I suppose we all feel a little inhibited when it comes to picking up the phone and calling someone we’re not very close to (anymore?).

So let’s all join together and thank Zuckerberg for his brilliant idea!

BUT… there’s another side to the story… facebook’s other face.

So I was doing some research for my social media class and I came across several reports and blogs of people being banned from facebook for violating their terms of use.

They were not aware of doing it (sure, we all should read those every time, but who really does?), in some cases got no warning and got banned for good even after contacting customer service in order to clear things up.

So, what are the things that you should NOT do on facebook?

• Do not have TOO many contacts! But what’s too many? This seemed to be the primary reason for a ban, now the limit is 5000 contacts. I’d say that’s plenty!

• Use your real name! People have been banned from Facebook for using fake names or using initials instead of their full name.

• Don’t make up your date of birth. Just like the issue with the name, they will find out somehow.

• Don’t publish breastfeeding images. Seriously. They don’t like that.

• And most of all, don’t do anything that could make you look like a spammer: don’t join too many groups, don’t post too many messages, don’t poke too many people (yep, you heard me right), don’t copy paste messages to friends because you’re too lazy to personalize them.

Here’s a good overview of do’s and don’ts (well, it’s mainly don’ts) regarding Facebook.

The only question I still have is: how the heck do they find out?? My real name, my date of birth, whether I really graduated from that college? Well, Facebook certainly has its shrewd ways.

What do you think Pringles are? July 16, 2008

Well, one thing’s for sure: They’re NOT potato chips!

I was sitting in a Workplace Ethics class yesterday night when we were discussing topics like fraud, misrepresentation, lies of commission vs. lies of omission. A fellow student briefly mentioned the “Pringles case” according to which we can not call Pringles potato chips anymore. Everyone had a puzzled expression in their face. Another visibly outraged student exclaimed: “Yes! I read about that, too! That’s because less than 40% of what they’re made of are potatoes!”

I was confused.

In a world where “healthy nutrition” is more and more propagated, we’re being bombarded on a daily basis by alarming news about the dangers related to the food we consume. Mad cow disease, bird flu, swine fewer, spoiled meat scandals (I vividly remember the commotion 2005 in Germany), genetically modified food, the fast food witch-hunt (who wasn’t shocked by “Super Size Me”?) and the list goes on and on. I will leave it up to you whether all the commotion was legitimate.

But I decided to look into the Pringles case and came across a Los Angeles Times article dated July 5, 2008. Turns out, a London judge ruled Pringles are indeed not potato chips. The whole issue was originated by a tax dispute about Britain’s 17.5% sales tax. “Luckily”, due to the outcome of the dispute, Pringles can now be sold tax-free in Britain, since they don’t fulfill the legal definition of “potato crisps” (the British term for “chips”).

The judge of the Supreme Court didn’t say what Pringles are, other than that they’re tax-exempt. Not adding further information, this could leave us quite concerned. The unanswered question in my head would still be: So what the heck are they made of??” And the answer seems to be “baked dough” (and not potato slices). Alright, so this doesn’t seem too bad, after all, does it?

But are those little pieces of crucial information the ones that will spread around? I guess not. Yesterday’s class was a great example. As soon as the main point came across (they only made us BELIEVE Pringles are potato chips) everyone’s reaction was the same: shaking of heads, mumbling and an overall outraged atmosphere.

Sure, they’re now saving taxes, but are they sacrificing parts of their reputation?

Is this whole media induced paranoia making us less objective (and God knows this doesn’t only apply to the food industry)?

Does the fear of food make us healthier human beings?

You decide.

Where time lost its value July 16, 2008

Following a friend’s recommendation (and double checking the reviews online), I decided to invite two girl friends of mine for lunch at Café 976 in Pacific Beach.

I immediately liked the location: in walking distance to busy Garnet, this cozy café just seems like a little green oasis. Since I only ate there once, I can’t make a general statement about the quality of their food, but I really liked what I got today (the Hot Caprese sandwich), and it looked like my friends were enjoying their meals as well. Also, there are relatively many options for vegetarians.

There are a few downsides that should be mentioned: I don’t need to explain the parking issue in PB, so be prepared for a little walk to quicken your appetite and a digestive stroll back to your car . Also, if you’re in a rush, I really would not recommend this place to grab a “quick bite”. I assumed that we got a little unlucky today, as the waiting times for pretty much every single step of the process took longer than expected (getting the menu, placing the order, getting the food and being able to pay), but looking at other reviews, that seems to be the standard procedure and the main complaint.

On the other hand, I would say that’s part of the experience. The atmosphere is relaxed and unique in every way, very different from the chain restaurant mentality where everything happens fast and everyone is moving in the daily grind. In fact, the whole setting seemed quite European to me. Many foreign students that I’ve talked to have a hard time getting used to the American eating habits which are a lot less of a “celebration” and a “time of social interaction” than in other countries. In most American restaurants (and maybe also families) the idea of spending hours at the dining table (where enjoying good food is certainly a big aspect, but probably not the main one) doesn’t seem to be encouraged all that much (it certainly took me a while to get used to getting the check while I’m still in the middle of eating). It’s more of a eat-pay-leave routine, which I have also noticed when staying with American host families or while visiting my (American) boyfriend’s family (minus the paying part, obviously ). At café 976 though, time seems to have lost its overrated value and customers are encouraged to take “it” just as easy as the staff. Free wifi access might also contribute to the overall “sit back and relax” experience.

Well, I will definitively go back for another timeout at the green oasis.

What am I doing here? July 15, 2008

In San Diego and on this blog??

Well, it seems like we need to start most types of social interaction with a proper introduction. Apparently those stimuli help us relate to people in order to come up with the most interesting questions and avoid those dreaded moments of awkward silence. Of course, since I’m currently only interacting with my HP laptop, the only moments of silence I will encounter are the ones where I feel a total lack of creative flow… just like right now. So what am I even doing here? Well, time pressure brought me here tonight.

Ok, let me give this a little more of a consistent time frame. You might have noticed from my writing, I am not American. So, let me describe a typical encounter with some random person. They would approach me for whatever reason, like “Would you mind giving me a cigarette?” (Yes, I smoke, please don’t hate me) and I would go: “Sure”. In most cases that would be enough for them to ask the next question: “I hear a slight accent… Where are you from?”. “I’m from Switzerland.”. “Oh wow, Switzerland! Wait… aren’t you supposed to be all blond and tall and stuff?”. And that’s usually the point where I go: “Yay… uhm… I’m sorry, I gotta go.”. Just kidding. I mean, you just gotta love people that make you look good in comparison

So, we just covered the first part, I’m from Switzerland. I came to San Diego in January 2008 to attend a 9-month business program at UCSD (“What brought you here?” is usually the second question so we covered that as well). Why San Diego? Because I’ve been here 5 years ago for about 5 months and I absolutely loved it. I really had to come back and this program seemed like the perfect chance.

So, let’s skip a couple of steps and get to the crucial question: What am I doing on this blog?

I have never blogged before and to be honest had no intention of doing so. But it just happens that I am taking a social media class and now guess what our homework for next Wednesday is? Yep, that’s right. Creating a blog and post at least 3 times. Hence the time pressure reference above. That being said, I guess I’ll save some of my more ingenious comments for later on and quit this nonsense talk before my teacher thinks I’m on drugs.